A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
