I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
