Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
