Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
