I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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