Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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