Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
