Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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