he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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