He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
