i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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