it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
