Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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