You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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