Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I think my moral compass just broke
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
