come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
