I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
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