i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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