I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
