he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
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