I am midnight drunk by noon
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
