i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
