Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Randomize
