Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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