will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize