your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
