we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.