You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
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I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
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It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.