Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(917): View more from New York City

your thong is hanging out like whoa

Fav 2 2989 1569
share tweet
(541): View more from Oregon

There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?

(253): View more from Washington

Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.

Fav 21 1440 860
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(604): View more from British Columbia

I want you more than these girls want KFC

Fav 37 3996 1130
share tweet
(607): View more from New York

Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?

Fav 20 4010 1239
share tweet
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(714): View more from California

So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.

Fav 32 1379 5979
share tweet
(530): View more from California

Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.

Fav 7 4244 1184
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(570): View more from Pennsylvania

i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?

Fav 4 2904 1047
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(818): View more from California

My lighter is stuck in my beard.

Fav 4 466 403
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(330): View more from Ohio

Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever

Fav 1 68 13
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT