Texts From Last Night

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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.

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  (808): The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet. http://tfl.nu/mtia
  Replies (12) Good night (1505) Bad night (792)
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  (909): View more from California

  You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"

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  (909): You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish" http://tfl.nu/4kon
  Replies (9) Good night (3718) Bad night (815)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"

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  (727): If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was" http://tfl.nu/9too
  Replies (36) Good night (705) Bad night (4384)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.

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  (908): I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator. http://tfl.nu/xdgs
  Replies (4) Good night (1278) Bad night (2797)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.

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  (301): just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month. http://tfl.nu/ntmv
  Replies (13) Good night (3537) Bad night (967)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed

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  (717): I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed http://tfl.nu/mass
  Replies (6) Good night (2340) Bad night (1500)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.

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  (717): reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control. http://tfl.nu/bdi5
  Replies (15) Good night (1241) Bad night (3976)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk

  (813): View more from Florida

  Crosswalk actually

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  (941): Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk (813): Crosswalk actually http://tfl.nu/wtpi
  Replies (3) Good night (1558) Bad night (1019)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes

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  (229): Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes http://tfl.nu/ukqo
  Replies (3) Good night (822) Bad night (1126)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.

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  (479): I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him. http://tfl.nu/81m9
  Replies (9) Good night (1632) Bad night (629)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.

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  (219): How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code. http://tfl.nu/zcfb
  Replies (7) Good night (1722) Bad night (679)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.

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  (902): I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me. http://tfl.nu/zjm5
  Replies (3) Good night (663) Bad night (487)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry

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  (803): He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry http://tfl.nu/mcy0
  Replies (4) Good night (446) Bad night (1317)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I need a costume

  (206): View more from Washington

  Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha

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  (425): I need a costume (206): Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha http://tfl.nu/g01f
  Replies (1) Good night (489) Bad night (560)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.

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  (612): but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard. http://tfl.nu/0wpi
  Replies (2) Good night (535) Bad night (223)

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