i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list