Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I want to make a zoo with you.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.