My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
