That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
