Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
