i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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