one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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