Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Randomize
