Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
