Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
