you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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