I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
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