On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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