i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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