I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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