Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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