Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
