Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
