i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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