I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
