3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
