He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
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