There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
