Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
