my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize