butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
