Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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