He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
