Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
