i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
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I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
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Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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