You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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