Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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