Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize