I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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