it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
