i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
